The tale of the Two sisters and the Texans began when Brian Cushing, was asked about his wife and her sister Kealia.
Megan and Kealia have always been close. I could just picture Brian sitting there after they had eaten dinner and were about to watch highlight reels or one of his old games and Kealia grabbing the remote and changing the channel to the Real Housewives of Anything or Brian saying he’s hungry, waiting for Megan to fix him something and then Kealia showing up, and out the two of them would go, leaving Brian standing at the counter with stuff to fix his own sandwich..
Though she projects to the world how happy and content with her love story she was, all she talked about her was her sister who was lacking the ability to find love on her own.
The Great Cush would say how knowing that Megan’s husband was the Texans’ best, most famous and all around #1 player, she could only think of one person to hook her baby sister up with, but since she was married to him there was no one else that could measure up. Not knowing what else to do and having no other options to choose from, she gave up on the idea resolute in the knowledge that her sister would die alone. After everything I had learned, if nothing else came of this story, I was going to break the the best kept secret in the organization, Brian Cushing is a douche¹.
Not missing a beat, he continued saying how Megan was so burdened with this info she decided to take her sister with her to all the Texans practices so Kealia wouldn’t have to stay home all alone crying herself to sleep and munching down gallons of ice cream out of lonely misery, but more importantly so The Great Cush wouldn’t lose his personal cheerleader.
Who could have known or even thought it possible that during one of these outings with an entire Texans team, Kealia would catch the eye of J.J.Watt after The Great Cush told him all about her so that he could say all the right stuff, of course. The Great Cush eluded to J.J. being one of those guys that you don’t really like that much but you have to put up with cause he’s part of the team, kinda like Kealia and that’s when it hit him. A player literally slammed into him and knocked him to the ground. As he was on the ground he looked over and saw Megan, Kealia, and J.J. chatting so he thought well he was an OK player, but no where near the greatness, amazingness, big and strongness grand man like The Great Cush, but him being already taken…
So in the weeks following J.J. and Kealia saw each other privately, a lot of double dates, some after practice hanging out at then after about a month they chose to go public,
being caught on video by some of the millions of Houston Texans’ fans and the hundreds of Houston Dash fans. Now there are even photographs of J.J. showing up to Dash Games supporting Kealia.
The latest was at the Dash vs the Portland game where the Dash handed the league leading Thorns a 3-0 thrashing with Kealia scoring the 3rd goal.
Mr Cushing eluded to the fact that he was sure the couple of soccer fans out there hoped that J.J. would continue showing up because whatever he’s doing, it was having a great effect on Kealia.
Thank God for The Great and Powerful Cush , if not for his smart brain and quick action! The couple are gold and J.J. could use the notice-ability, cause now he’ll forever be indebted to The Great Cush for setting them up. If Megan could have had something to do with this, if she had thought of it (though to be fair to her The Great Cush is the only player who matters) she could have taken credit for this, the tale of the perfect hook up. The tale of The Sisters and the Texans.
¹ Brian Cushing, to my knowledge, is not in any way a douche
Disclaimer: This story is in no way accurate, factual or ever in any way connected to Brian Cushing, Megan Cushing, Kealia Ohia or J.J. Watt. It is purely fictional and the brain hallucination of my satirical mind and has no base in reality.