This Just In, J.J. Watt newest acquisition for the Houston Dash

July 16, 2016: NWSL Regular Season: Houston Dash vs Portland Timbers at BBVA Compass Stadium, Houston, Texas

On Saturday July 16th J.J. Watt singed with the Houston Dash organization.  It has been no secret how much of a fan of J.J. Watt President Chris Canetti has been,  tweeting J.J.¹ more than One Direction fans tweet Harry Styles!

So obviously when Canetti found out that JJ would be attending the game on Saturday

July 16, 2016: NWSL Regular Season: Houston Dash vs Portland Timbers at BBVA Compass Stadium, Houston, Texas
Additional fans blurred to protect anonymity. Photo credit: Anonymous Fan

to see his rumored girlfriend and Dash forward Kealia Ohai², Canetti jumped at the chance to fangirl his idol by bringing him in for the “special tour”, Chris brought J.J. in to watch the match in Canetti’s private suite, while lavishing him with food (popcorn),

July 16, 2016: NWSL Regular Season: Houston Dash vs Portland Timbers at BBVA Compass Stadium, Houston, Texas
wined and dined in the present’s box with Chris Cannetti and his family (faces blurred to protect family anonymity) where he finalized the deal. Photo credit: Anonymous Fan

as well as air conditioning where J.J. let down his guard and enjoyed the rock star treatment as he watched a great game! The Dash promptly handed the league leaders Portland a 3-0 butt whooping helping Canetti to orchestrate this coup d’etat and before he knew knew it, J.J. was  signing on the dotted line.

So now it’s official: J.J. Watt is one of the Houston Dash…fans!

July 16, 2016: NWSL Regular Season: Houston Dash vs Portland Timbers at BBVA Compass Stadium, Houston, Texas
July 16, 2016: NWSL Regular Season: Houston Dash vs Portland Timbers at BBVA Compass Stadium, Houston, Texas

¹https://twitter.com/chriscanetti/status/620040469943205888
²http://mix965houston.cbslocal.com/2016/06/22/jj-watt-is-rumored-to-be-dating-a-houston-dash-player-photos/

 

Disclaimer: This story is in no way accurate, factual or ever in any way connected to any one mention, alive or dead/real or created. It is purely fictional and the brain hallucination of my satirical mind and has no base in reality.